While I usually deplore being referred to by the sports pundits as a "long-suffering Jets fan," I have found myself, a long-time fanatic of the New York Jets, to be suffering this season, which seems very long, indeed. In my search to alleviate this dismal autumn's football dread, I have looked for solace in unlikely places.
First, I tried to root for the New York Giants, but I am, alas, not True Blue, and my inauthenticity tends to exacerbate my dread rather than lighten it. Second, I have tried to tune out football season by instead turning early to the NBA and rooting for the new new look New York Knicks, yet in less than a month that option only promises to extend my dread into June rather than stem it. And regardless, when Sunday rolls around, I seek the football games and nevertheless want to watch the Jets... and suffer.
More than ever in this, my season of discontent, the inane rules and customs of NFL football sting my conscience. For one, the spike rule. Spiking the ball to stop the clock is the NFL's equivalent of baseball's intentional walk but seems more like the designated hitter rule. Aren't three time outs enough? Why be able to trade a down to stop the clock by intentionally grounding the ball, when intentional grounding is a penalty that costs 10 yards plus loss of down. Why should doing essentially the same thing result in a different outcome? And what of the slippery slope problem? If the QB takes two or three steps before the intentional spike, does it become intentional grounding? Where is this line drawn? What would Antonin Scalia say?
In the likely event the Jets' downward spiral and my fan dread continues, I will continue to seek comfort in decrying the infuriating contradictions and tortured nuances in the NFL's rules and customs. Consider yourself two-minute-warned...
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